After a lot of reading, I realised that the modem had an inbuilt firewall, and this coud be the issue. FIREWALLS TEND TO FIGHT WHEN RUN TOGETHER.
The way I read the help info suggested to me that I didn't need to run the windows firewall, unless it was on a network. The modems firewall is only good for protection from the net, but is certainly good enough protection.
Not being able to make both firewalls work was therefore unnecessary, as the lady won't ever be on a network, just 1 computer to the internet.
I disabled windows firewall, and the notification in security centre, and I am trusting the modems inbuilt firewall. I have no idea how to alter it, but won't need to anyway.
It now updates beautifully and is up to sp1 level now
Thanks again, and hope I haven't led anyone astray
christover and CLAIRE...